On Success
How do you know if you’re successful? What are the criteria upon which you base this idea, this designation, of success? Is it how many friends you have? Is it the amount of money you make? Is it about how knowledgeable you are? Is it how far-reaching your influence is? Is it about whether you have someone to love? Is it about whether you are loved yourself? Do you even set your own criteria, or do you base your idea of success upon others’, upon what’s generally accepted as successful?
Most people would say that as long as you’re happy, you’re a success. But this is a circular definition: what makes you happy? Well, success. Achieving your goals. You may say, “No, no, that’s not true! Not everything is about goals! My family and friends make me happy, reading books makes me happy, a beautiful sunset makes me happy,” and on and on. But even in these cases, the source of your happiness is goals: your goal in life is to have friends, have a good relationship with your family, read lots of books (perhaps in order to achieve another goal of, say, possessing great intellect). Sunsets are a bit different – I don’t think, when people get happiness from seeing something beautiful, like a sunset, a painting, a great film, etc, that one of their goals is “to see nice things.” But then again, I don’t think this sort of gratification is significant in the long run. Beauty can affect you, on many levels, but it’s effect always ends. At some point, the sun will set. And you are not quantifiably any more happy than you were before. I suppose you could take a picture; and while the photo can make you have the same feelings of awe and delight and bubbliness when you look at your photo, you’ll only feel these things when you are physically looking at the photo. For it to have a true impact on your happiness – your overall happiness in life (which is the basis of success) – you would have to constantly look at it. There are some people who solve this problem by constantly surrounding themselves with beautiful things. But then this becomes a process, and you’re no longer just appreciating the things you have; you are creating an environment, so it’s no longer the photo of the sunset, or the painting, or the movie poster, that makes you happy. It’s the environment you create. So for you, you might consider yourself successful once you have a comforting and gorgeous home. You’ve achieved success in creating the perfect home. That home makes you happy. You’re happy, therefore you are a success. And that success of having a great home makes you happy. You see? There’s no way to really identify which causes which – happiness, success, what? Success comes from happiness, which in turn comes from success, which in turn comes from happiness. And yes, I’m being nitpicky, but it’s important to see that the issue is not as simple as “happiness = success.”
Let’s assume, for argument’s sake, that the aforementioned equation is indeed true: “happiness = success.” Let’s say “happiness” in this equation refers to overall happiness about life; I think that’s the generally accepted interpretation, especially when talking about success. This happiness can be a result of any of the aforementioned happiness sources, i.e. sunsets, homes, friends, and family, as well as anything else that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside.
But what if I am generally happy? Does that mean that I should strive for nothing more? Should I accept my happiness and consider myself a success? What if I believe that I am capable of more? This thought doesn’t make me unhappy – it doesn’t deduct from my life happiness; but nor does it add to it. Now, I know this argument can get into the subjective side; “Well, you have to suffer through Calculus because it will pay off later” – the general argument is, of course, that the work you do now and the annoyances you endure will lead to opportunities for more happiness in your future. But this brings up several problems: first, where do I draw the line? At what point should I stop compromising my happiness in the present to allow for more happiness in the future? Second, what about now? Should I always strive to be more happy now, or accept that I won’t be able to achieve the best in every aspect of my life?
I am happy; I have great friends, I’m living in a great city, I have a great job, I’m taking great classes. But what if I could have more friends, or get to know my current friends better? And what if I am not taking enough advantage of the place I live? New York is amazing, but I’ve barely scratched the surface. And my job in the greenhouse is great, but I also want to stay active in theatre (the theatre jobs also pay a lot better); should I risk losing my easy-going job by quitting and taking a job with the theatre department? Would that job turned out to be a disappointment, or would it turn out to be amazing? Is it worth the risk? And my classes – yes, they’re great, but would I be happier taking something else? Should I stick with my plan to study biology, or try something new? Would I be happier taking film or theatre classes? And what about in the future – would film classes in college lead to more happiness in the future? Or would they contribute extensively to my happiness in college and then leave me with a shit career? Would it be better to take the pre-med classes that I’m not looking forward to, diminishing my happiness in college, in order to have a more stable career, and therefore more happiness in the future? The basic question is this – do I accept where I am, because I’m generally happy, or do I take the chance on something else, even if it might cost me? Should I put more effort into meeting new people and strengthening my friendships at the cost of my comfort and security? Should I explore the city more, at the cost to my level of energy, my school performance, and my wallet? Should I try for a new job, at the cost of my relationship with my boss and coworkers, my love of plants, and possibly my stress level? Should I risk my entire career based on what classes and which path I think would make me more happy?
I know that I want to be successful – I do want to pursue happiness. But to what extent? How far should I strive to go? There will always be another height to reach, another level to accomplish. There will always be risks to take, with payoffs that may or may not be worth the possible disappointment. And I am going to take some of those risks. I am. But how do I decide which risks, which chances, which paths, are worth it? And where do I stop?
For that matter, where do I start?
